It gets better!

It was with a mix of sadness and outrage that I've seen lately the news on the suicides which have been carried out by teenagers in America due to "bulling" at school on their "being or soon-to-be" homosexuality!

Sadness cause naturally one cannot avoid thinking on the suffering and despair of someone to go for such an extreme action of putting an end on ones own live and outrage cause you can easily trace back some people, associations, institutions and organizations behind that.

Being a teenage and having to deal with all issues associated to that, all doubts and uncertainties of life is already tough enough, everybody knows it and on top of that to deal with one own sexuality doubts only puts a lot of pressure on it mostly if there is "bulling" and one cannot deal with it...

The "It gets better project" is an amazing initiative which started in the US (see link: http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject ) by celebrities, gay community, non-gays, LGBT people, etc etc. Its purpose is to show that even with maybe a harsh start "It gets better". Lots of people came out with their own histories of frustration, acceptance, success, love and passion. There are very good and emotional videos. I liked very much some of them:
* Dan & Terry: http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject#p/f/0/7IcVyvg2Qlo
* Brian Gallivan: http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject#p/f/41/sCfKCEPd2uo
* Ellen DeGeneris: http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=119833649182291626
Take a look on that.

It brought me back to my childhood buried memories... Have I been bullied?!
Have to explain something first: I've never been sissy, effeminate or any sort of that. Despite of having had lots of girlfriends I struggled with my sexuality for my whole life and only came to terms with that a few years ago, but I WAS different:
Never liked soccer or any other harsh sport, never liked to fight, was always sensitive to arts, music, literature, etc which for sure haven't gone unnoticed by my "colleagues". It is kinda difficult to touch these issues but, YES, I have been "bullied" at school for being something that was not even that clear to myself.
I remember the pain of carrying a burden which I didn't know how to deal with and the worse thing was not having anyone to talk about it at all... how to approach my own "very religious and conservative family"?...
Once support was not there only time brought me relief.
Gratefully I never thought to kill myself, but I did think to kill some of my "bullies"...

Anyway, all of it is buried in the past and the only thing I can say is that somehow it strengthened myself. I've grown up, went to the university, pursed a successful carrier, traveled around the world, met lots of interesting people, expanded my horizons and nothing or nobody will take this away from me. Despite of all I succeeded and lately found a partner who I live with for more than an year. Am happy and in peace now!
Trust me: It gets better!!!!!

How about my "bullies"?
Most of them disappeared in their own mediocrity, but some of them have had a very miserable lives with no hopes, no achievements and no happiness... Sorry, but I strongly believe that ones only collect what ones seed!

Who's to blame?
First of all being a parent means that one must keep track on one children: human beings need support but unfortunately it doesn't come quite often from ones families once by whatever reasons parents either don't have a clue on what's happening with their kids or don't want to see it and institutions like the Church prays on labeling "homosexuality" as "a thing from the devil" which can be cured through faith and pray!
I got news for you guys: it doesn't work like this!

It's grown stronger on myself over the years the belief that whatever religion is an opium for its people. Instead of facing such situations with rationality, sensibility and care it is always easier to use "religious beliefs" as a cushion  and only pretend there is no problem and that everything will end up in a good way... If that is your approach you better pray a lot and cross your fingers in the hope that you will never have to attend a funeral of your own kids!

This week I saw that idiot of Carl Paladino in NY making a stupid remark on homosexuality. Take a look: http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/10/11/new.york.paladino.gays/index.html
Now tell me: Does it help in anything? Or it is just more fuel on the fire of intolerance?

As long as human beings don't learn to respect other cultures, beliefs, sexual choices, ways of life, etc we will continue to watch such tragedies on the news! But this is not all: human beings have to stop trying to impose their own ways to someone else... It is against the human nature... Fuck! We are different, each one is an individual, has its own genetics and identity!
STOP that now...

What can be done?
Related to the bullies themselves the society needs to organize itself and provide support for our youth in this crucial moment of their lives. It is unacceptable that schools don't have people technically prepared to deal with such issues... I really hope that all this "furor" on the news will have at least a positive side effect: it will lead to actions!

Institutions like the Church itself should look at its own mirrors and instead of attacking "homosexuality" should address all the "sexual abuses" which happens in a daily basis under its own roofs by priests who were supposed to support and protect its Community. Addressing such issues in a proper way maybe would lead to a new start for the Church and it might use its power and influence on its followers referring to homosexuality not as a disease but as part of human beings choices... The so called "freewill" given by God itself (to talk in their own language).

Now us: gays, LGBT, bi, trans, whoever should first of all to stop trying to shock people with sometimes an abusive behavior... I don't need for instance to kiss my boyfriend in a restaurant. I can make it at home! But we do have to organize ourselves and fight for our rights as human beings! But do we know what we want in a first place?
I know what I want: want to live my life in peace in the way I've chosen. To have all civil rights which anyone else (including straights) have based on a human being perspective not on stupid religious conventions: Why I cannot marry the partner I choose? Why we cannot make one another our heir in the event one of us is no longer around and give security to our partners? Why do we have to fight to have our partner covered under our insurance policies?
I just want the same rights a Constitution of my Country provides to anyone without distinction of gender, color of skin, sexual choice or religious believes...

Do I deserve less than that?